The Resilience Response #5 - September 23, 2023

Celebrating our victories, Ryan Holiday on regret, using a task management app to stay organized, a llama in a tuxedo, and more.

Happy Saturday!

Welcome to The Resilience Response, a newsletter that provides the tools and resources you need to face adversity with confidence.

As I write this, a turkey has made its way over to the bird feeder next door. And yet, this is only the second-most amusing animal in today’s newsletter. (You’ll see why later.)

My writing company for today.

Here’s what’s on deck this week:

• 🔧 For the Toolkit: Celebrating our victories (no matter how small)

• 🎙️ In the First Person: Ryan Holiday on his biggest career regrets

• ✅ What’s Helped Me: Using a task management app to stay organized

• ✍️ Weekly Intention: Schedule one reward for the week ahead

• 🎁 Outtakes and Extras: Jeff Goins writes about compulsive busyness and a llama steals the show at a New York wedding

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🔧 For the Toolkit: Celebrating our victories (no matter how small)

Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash

There are times when adversity is all-consuming. When we are worn down from nonstop crises, it is hard to appreciate all that we’ve accomplished despite our hardships. Fun and joy are nowhere to be found.

Life is tough when we are in a constant state of stress, which is why it’s so important to counter our doom and gloom by celebrating the small, everyday victories whenever possible.

It might be hard to fathom why we should celebrate when we’re battling adversity that never seems to get better, whether it’s grief, financial insecurity, or worsening health. Yet, it is precisely because of the enduring nature of our struggles that makes appreciating life’s “wins” even more important.

Achieving anything — no matter how small — is a big deal when life is hard. Some days, just showing up is its own accomplishment. If we defer enjoyment until after our adversity is over, not only will we be waiting a long time (possibly forever), but something else will inevitably pop up. One challenge always replaces another.

Celebrating our victories doesn’t mean we need to pop champagne just because we finally got around to scheduling a doctor’s appointment. (I guess you could if you really want to. I won’t judge.) It doesn’t have to be a lavish display. It doesn’t even have to cost money. All it requires is doing something that makes you smile.

We all have hobbies and guilty pleasures. A “celebration” can be something as simple as ordering an extra appetizer at dinner or renting a movie. Maybe you give yourself an hour to go down a rabbit hole on TikTok. If you accomplished something particularly noteworthy — such as getting a new job or paying off your last student loan — treat it like the special occasion that it is. If you can, splurge.

Whatever gives you joy, let it be your reward for a job well done. Don’t be afraid to celebrate baby steps and incremental improvements. Any progress is meaningful, especially since it’s just as easy to do nothing or make things worse. (I know from experience.)

Here are a couple tips to incorporate rewards into your everyday life:

• Make a list of activities that you can do with minimal effort (such as listening to a favorite podcast), those that require a little more work (ordering takeout), and one or two that you can reserve for special achievements (a nice dinner or a night of ax-throwing). Writing them down now makes it more likely that you’ll follow through with the reward later.

• If you can, give yourself a reward budget every month. It doesn’t have to be a lot of money, but having it earmarked makes it easier to spend it in a guilt-free way. If money’s tight, there are plenty of free activities that are just as enjoyable, such as going to a museum or attending an outdoor jazz concert.

One more thing: Don’t feel like you are only allowed to enjoy yourself if you accomplish something. At the end of the day, the more fun and joy in our lives, the better. Whether we celebrate a specific victory, or life itself, as long as we have a reason to smile, that’s all that matters.

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🎙️ In the First Person: Ryan Holiday on regret

A few days ago, author Ryan Holiday shared 24 regrets from his career, from mistakes he made marketing his books to poor eating habits. This article is chock full of interesting tidbits, especially if you are a fan of Holiday’s books.

What’s stayed with me the most is something Holiday wrote at the beginning of the article (emphasis mine):

I once interviewed the peerless Dr. Edith Eger, Holocaust survivor and the author of one of my favorite books, The Choice. At the beginning of the podcast (you can listen here), I ask her about something I regretted, a relationship I had messed up. She looked at me and said she could give me a gift that would solve that guilt right now. “I give you a sentence,” she said, “One sentence—if I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently.” That’s the end of that, she said. “Guilt is in the past, and the one thing you cannot change is the past.”

This quote hit home. I still carry around many regrets, and I constantly struggle to let things go. Dr. Eger’s advice was a powerful reminder.

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✅ What’s Helped Me: Using a task management app to stay organized

I can’t function without a to-do list. Ever since I was a freshman in college, I have planned out my days in minute detail. (Yes, I even had a task for going to the bar.)

For the longest time, my to-do list was in physical form. I’d write it up on a sheet of notebook paper in the morning, fold it, and carry it with me throughout the day, then toss it when I was done.

Although useful, this was impractical for three reasons: writing became harder, it was a waste of paper, and so many of the tasks were recurring that it didn’t make sense to start from scratch each day.

Thankfully, I now use a digital program for my to-do list. It’s so much easier.

Several programs have checklist functionality these days, including Apple Notes, Todoist, Notion, Evernote, and a few others.

I use a program called OmniFocus. (Sadly, not a newsletter sponsor.) What I like about this program is that it’s geared towards project management. I can create a task, assign a due date, and stick it in a given project folder. When I want to see what tasks are due on a given day, I can click on the “Forecast” tab and know exactly what needs to be done that day.

Here is a quick demo of how it works:

I think I paid $50 a few years back for a one-time license. It has been well worth the investment. I’ve been able to stay organized and manage many different personal projects, from health-related tasks to paying my bills. It has an intuitive interface and it is easy to create new tasks on the fly.

In a few weeks, I am going to do a deep dive into how I use OmniFocus and Tiago Forte’s PARA method to organize my tasks. It sounds nerdy but it’s transformed my life! It has helped to bring order to the chaos, which is an important step in confronting life’s challenges.

In the meantime, if you want to play around with OmniFocus, they offer a 14-day free trial.

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✍️ Weekly Intention: Schedule one reward for the week ahead

Think about one task you hope to accomplish next week. (If you can’t think of anything, just getting up to face the day is good enough.) Take a few minutes to scope out a few different activities that can serve as a fulfilling reward for your hard work. Then pick one.

Keep this list handy! Over time, add to it when you think of fun new activities.

Let me know how you plan to reward yourself in the comments. I’ll share what I’m going to do! (Narrator: It will be nerdy.)

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🎁 Outtakes and Extras

1. We Need to Talk About Our Compulsive Busyness: This was a thought-provoking piece by Jeff Goins about how we are burning ourselves out as a society. We have apps for every part of our lives and our schedules are packed to the gills, and yet we are more tired and feel less accomplished than ever. Goins’s piece reminded me of the Laurie Santos video from a few weeks back on the importance of doing less.

2. I promised you a llama in a tuxedo. I can’t stop cracking up.

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