The Resilience Response #4 - September 16, 2023

The Hemingway Bridge, Alex Elle on knowing our worth, The Man in the Red Bandana, and more

Happy Saturday!

Welcome to The Resilience Response, a newsletter that provides the tools and resources you need to face adversity with confidence.

Thank you to everyone who reached out about Wednesday’s post, 37 Lessons for 37. It was a lot of fun to write! There were many lessons that unfortunately just missed the cut. I will be sure to cover these topics in the coming months.

Here’s what’s on deck this week:

• 🔧 For the Toolkit: Using the Hemingway Bridge to build momentum

• 🎙️ In the First Person: Alex Elle on knowing our worth

• 🏋️‍♀️ What’s Helped Me: The realization that we all carry heavy burdens

• ✍️ Weekly Intention: Thanking someone who’s influenced us

• 📰 In the News: The Man in the Red Bandana

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🔧 For the Toolkit: Using the Hemingway Bridge to build momentum

Photo by Annie Lang on Unsplash

One of the most difficult forms of adversity is when we have to take on a complex challenge that spans multiple days or weeks. Whether it’s dealing with a crisis at work, job-hunting after a layoff, or researching how to manage a loved one’s disease diagnosis, the enormity of the task can be overwhelming, especially if there are no neat, tidy answers.

Even if we push ourselves to exhaustion, this type of challenge can’t be solved in a day. There is always more to do tomorrow. And yet, when we sit down to face the situation again, we struggle to figure out where to start. This can lead to even more stress. I have faced this situation many times in my life.

Fortunately, this is a preventable problem.

One strategy we can employ is called the Hemingway Bridge, named after writer Ernest Hemingway. I learned about this technique in the book Building a Second Brain, by Tiago Forte, which covers how to create a digital note-taking system to aid in our knowledge-based pursuits.

One of the challenges Forte addresses is how to resume our work without losing yesterday’s momentum. He tells the story of Hemingway’s creative process and how he would always build a “bridge” between writing sessions:

[Hemingway] would always end a writing session only when he knew what came next in the story. Instead of exhausting every last idea and bit of energy, he would stop when the next plot point became clear. This meant that the next time he sat down to work on his story, he knew exactly where to start. He built himself a bridge to the next day, using today’s energy and momentum to fuel tomorrow’s writing.¹

The Hemingway Bridge can be adapted to our own challenges. Whether we are researching a stressful topic or scoping out how to tackle the latest obstacle, the more we can create “bridges” between work sessions, the more motivated we will be to keep going. Any friction we can reduce for our future selves is going to make it that much easier to avoid unnecessary frustration.

Forte suggests four ways to build a Hemingway Bridge from the end of our current work session to the next one:

• Write down next steps. What are the next few tasks?

• Review where we are currently. What is our biggest challenge? What remains unresolved? What do we need to research further?

• Write down any details we are likely to forget before next time. Capture any important pieces of information that might slip through the cracks.

• Write out our intention for the next work session. What is the next problem we want to solve? What is the next milestone we want to reach?

When we finish the day confident that we are prepared to face tomorrow, it is that much easier to rest and recharge. Then we can jump right back in without missing a beat. No more blank screens. No more despairing over what comes next.

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🎙️ In the First Person: Alex Elle on knowing our worth

Know yourself. Know your worth.

In this piece, author Alex Elle encourages readers to stop seeking external validation from social media. Not only have likes, shares, and comments taken over our lives, but they are fickle metrics in the age of algorithms.

By placing our worth on what is largely out of our control, we are doomed to misery. If we post something and it doesn’t get a lot of engagement, we might believe that people hate what we created, or that no one cares what we have to say. This is especially dangerous for creatives who regularly share their work on various social platforms. These mind games are demotivating and can impact our self-esteem.

But here’s the thing: social media is not real life. Elle reminds readers that likes and clicks do not dictate our worth. Our value comes from something intrinsic, something deeper.

How do we change our relationship to social media? Perspective and a healthier balance are key. Elle has taken this to heart:

I've been taking more photos, going to yoga, writing just for me, being with my family, tending to my garden, going on long walks, making body care stuff for fun, and living in the present.

It's felt so damn good. And if that costs me 28k unfollows, I'll gladly take it.

Life is hard enough. Although social media is an integral part of all our lives, it should serve us, not vice versa. The less effort we spend chasing likes, the more we can do what gives us joy.

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🏋️‍♀️ What’s Helped Me: The realization that we all carry heavy burdens

Photo by Gadiel Lazcano on Unsplash

One of my 37 lessons (#12) was realizing that we are all carrying heavy burdens.

This epiphany occurred several years ago at Boston’s South Station as I waited to pick up lunch at a food kiosk. At the time, I was mad at the world for the hand I had been dealt. I thought that everyone else was living an easier life than me.

While I waited for my sandwich, I looked around and saw people from all walks of life struggling in different ways. Lots of tears. Lots of stress. Lots of despair. (An experience I discuss in my introductory post.) Suddenly, it hit me that I wasn’t the only one dealing with something.

Ever since, I’ve been more perceptive to others’ struggles. I’ve sought to understand everyone’s story, what they’ve gone through, and what they might be currently dealing with.

My struggles remain, but it is helpful to know that I am not alone. This epiphany has made me more empathetic, and I hope, a little less judgmental. It also made me realize that my story has value, precisely because it isn’t unique.

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✍️ Weekly Intention: Thanking someone who’s influenced us

World Gratitude Day is September 21. If you aren’t into gratitude journals or public thank yous, here is something simple you can try next week. I love to do this from time to time.

This week, think of someone who has made an impact on your life. This could be a parent, a teacher, a mentor, or someone else. Send them an email or text and thank them for helping you get to where you are today. If you haven’t talked to them in a while, don’t worry about it being awkward.

This is guaranteed to make their day and is something they won’t forget! (Unless they don’t want to hear from you, in which case I deny all responsibility.) It only takes a couple minutes, and it can have such a positive impact.

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📰 In the News: The Man in the Red Bandana

When I attended Boston College for grad school, I would take my scooter out on nice days and ride around campus. On some of my longer treks, I would go by the school’s 9-11 memorial commemorating the 22 graduates who lost their lives on that horrible day.

One of the names on the memorial is Welles Crowther, a 1999 BC grad who was a member of the lacrosse team. Crowther died in the South Tower of the World Trade Center, but not before helping save the lives of several people by directing them to a working stairwell.

ESPN did a short documentary about Crowther’s heroism that day. It is one of the most powerful, heartbreaking, and inspiring videos I’ve ever seen. I try to watch it every anniversary.

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1. Building a Second Brain, P. 184