I had to let go of preemptive worrying, as if that either protected me from it happening...or I could say, "See?! I was right! I *knew* that would happen." So dumb. But, if it worked once, right? LOL. I don't know that I would ask, "What's the best that could happen?" but I no longer expect or even seek out the worst. I mean, I prepare for things that could happen (I have earthquake insurance and a "disaster" bag with a LifeStraw; I take my car to have the oil, fluids and tire pressure checked before a road trip; I will never not wear my mask in public or shared spaces). I learned to stop expecting the rug to be pulled out from under me, even though there were actual decades when that literally happened every time I got a step ahead. But, maybe I was inviting that in by anticipating it? Dunno. Now that I'm in a state of appreciation most of the time (yes, even when I'm pissed off, like last night...don't ask), I notice how easy things are. How much I'm in rhythm with the flow. Or how less of a sh!t I give about certain things. It's interesting to observe. An endless "Huh" that I rather enjoy. I'm glad you're asking that Q, though, Chris. There's a lot of good coming to you. xo
Isn’t it amazing this is a skill set we have to learn and use regularly in order to keep it up? This is a major skill set I’m learning (again) as part of the work I’m doing for PTSD symptoms. Basically training my brain to always ask this question. It’s my daily homework at the moment. To work through stuck points or events by asking this question (among others!) Sticky notes with too!
Thanks for this, Chris. Today, I talked with my daughter, in a therapy session, about getting an assistive device, like a cane. She is 19 years old. It's hard to swallow what that means. But like you said, it's about her having more of a life by having something that helps her. I appreciate this article about mindset and acceptance.
Thanks Serena. A cane definitely is not an easy step. I got my crutches at 27. It takes a few months to get used to them, physically and emotionally, but it does, eventually get "easier". (Although it never gets truly easy.) Let me know if I can help in any way.
From one negative thinker to another...hello. I've gotten a lot better about seeing the positive in things after they happen but definitely still a struggle to try and think of what good things might happen when faced with a challenge. I think, for me, if I think of good things that might happen and they don't, then I feel stupid and naive for thinking something good would have happened. But in the end, even if I think of all the things that could go wrong ahead of time, if those happen, I'm still disappointed and upset. Anticipating the outcome does nothing to lessen the blow. So might as well try to go into with a more positive outlook.
I had to let go of preemptive worrying, as if that either protected me from it happening...or I could say, "See?! I was right! I *knew* that would happen." So dumb. But, if it worked once, right? LOL. I don't know that I would ask, "What's the best that could happen?" but I no longer expect or even seek out the worst. I mean, I prepare for things that could happen (I have earthquake insurance and a "disaster" bag with a LifeStraw; I take my car to have the oil, fluids and tire pressure checked before a road trip; I will never not wear my mask in public or shared spaces). I learned to stop expecting the rug to be pulled out from under me, even though there were actual decades when that literally happened every time I got a step ahead. But, maybe I was inviting that in by anticipating it? Dunno. Now that I'm in a state of appreciation most of the time (yes, even when I'm pissed off, like last night...don't ask), I notice how easy things are. How much I'm in rhythm with the flow. Or how less of a sh!t I give about certain things. It's interesting to observe. An endless "Huh" that I rather enjoy. I'm glad you're asking that Q, though, Chris. There's a lot of good coming to you. xo
Thanks Sandra!
Isn’t it amazing this is a skill set we have to learn and use regularly in order to keep it up? This is a major skill set I’m learning (again) as part of the work I’m doing for PTSD symptoms. Basically training my brain to always ask this question. It’s my daily homework at the moment. To work through stuck points or events by asking this question (among others!) Sticky notes with too!
Yeahhhh I'm resigned to the fact that there's some stuff I'll always have to relearn. Especially when it comes to comparison.
I think I have to get a new computer so I have more space to put sticky notes. 😂
Chris, I have a similar question written down - "What doesn't suck?" - but I'm adding your question to my note as well. Great suggestion, thanks!
I like that one!!
Thanks for this, Chris. Today, I talked with my daughter, in a therapy session, about getting an assistive device, like a cane. She is 19 years old. It's hard to swallow what that means. But like you said, it's about her having more of a life by having something that helps her. I appreciate this article about mindset and acceptance.
Thanks Serena. A cane definitely is not an easy step. I got my crutches at 27. It takes a few months to get used to them, physically and emotionally, but it does, eventually get "easier". (Although it never gets truly easy.) Let me know if I can help in any way.
From one negative thinker to another...hello. I've gotten a lot better about seeing the positive in things after they happen but definitely still a struggle to try and think of what good things might happen when faced with a challenge. I think, for me, if I think of good things that might happen and they don't, then I feel stupid and naive for thinking something good would have happened. But in the end, even if I think of all the things that could go wrong ahead of time, if those happen, I'm still disappointed and upset. Anticipating the outcome does nothing to lessen the blow. So might as well try to go into with a more positive outlook.
It's a balance for sure.
Taking this one with me… “What is the best-case scenario?”‼️
I needed this reminder today. Thank you.
Thanks Barbara!
I saw this right away after you posted it :) - love it! Best-case scenarios are life changing.
Thanks Mike!