It is very easy for anxiety to spiral out of control.
At any given moment, dozens of thoughts swirl through our overtaxed minds. All the tasks we have to accomplish. Past regrets. Future worries. The adversity we face right here, right now.
These thoughts don’t stand patiently in line waiting to be addressed one by one. Instead, they shout all at once, vying for attention.
Do [this urgent but unimportant task] right now!
No, no, no — do these other 83 things first!
By the way, don’t forget [pressing life issue]!
You haven’t checked social media in the last 30 seconds. Something life-changing might have happened!
While you’re at it, remember [your greatest life failure]? Remember how awful that was?
How about [future crisis that is guaranteed to come true]?
Ugh.
We can handle this cacophony up to a point, but eventually, it gets to be too much. Stress and anxiety slowly build until it feels like we’ve lost all control of our thoughts.
What we need is something that anchors us to the present moment. Because, despite our fears, worries, and anxieties, the present moment is all we have. We can’t step back into the past, and we can’t live in the future. There’s just the here and now.
A few months ago, I wrote about the importance of a decluttered mind. One of the mindfulness techniques that didn’t fit in the article that day — but is no less useful — is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, which I learned about in Nick Trenton’s book, Stop Overthinking.
5-4-3-2-1 helps to slow down anxious thoughts and regain awareness of the present moment. Says Trenton: “The brain can carry you all over the place, but the body — and its senses — is only ever one place: the present.”1 It is also useful in helping to stop panic attacks.
The process is simple. Start by taking a deep breath. Then, after a few seconds, do the following:
5: find five things to look at
4: find four things to feel or touch
3: find three things to listen to
2: find two things to smell
1: find one thing to taste
According to Trenton, utilizing our senses helps to unplug the mental machinery that causes anxiety: “The point of this exercise is, on the surface, distraction. While your senses are active, your brain is engaged in something other than endless rumination.”2
This technique is meant to be done slowly and methodically. Instead of glancing quickly at your coffee mug, try to identify every color, study the shape of the handle, or watch the light reflect off the liquid inside.
In my experience, I’ve found that 5-4-3-2-1 gives my mind just enough space to calm down. It doesn’t cure all my anxieties, but it does help to keep my thoughts from running amok.
This technique is still useful even if you are missing one of your five senses. For example, I can’t smell. (Which I’m told in certain situations is a blessing.) Thankfully, you can still get the same grounding effect by using your other senses.
Two suggestions for getting the most out of this technique:
Write the formula down in a convenient location so you can reference it on short notice.
Try it before you need it. Make sure the stakes are low. For example, try it out when you are feeling a little stressed, but not too stressed. This way, when you really need it — when your anxiety is threatening to spiral out of control — you already know that it will work.
🎁 Extras
I miss writing The Resilience Response every Saturday, but my new schedule is much more sustainable. That said, from time to time, I will bring back a category from that newsletter for a guest appearance!
Since there’s no audio recording this week, I wanted to share a couple links I’ve had saved up:
Serendipity, Revisited
Three days after I published my post on serendipity, Rachel Feintzeig of the Wall Street Journal wrote about the subject in her column. (A rather serendipitous coincidence, I must say.)
Her article complements my post nicely; I found myself nodding several times.
I especially liked this paragraph:
You can create your own serendipity, says Richard Wiseman, a psychology professor at England’s University of Hertfordshire and author of a seminal book on luck. He and his team studied hundreds of people who considered themselves especially lucky or unlucky. The former tended to be cheery, optimistic, open and resilient. The latter had their metaphorical heads down, unable to spot and seize opportunities.
It’s encouraging that openness and resilience are hallmarks of “luck,” since I am not the most cheerful or optimistic person. Thankfully, we can still be open to opportunities even if we aren’t feeling our best. We don’t always need to be smiling; we just need to show up every day to meet our challenges and stay in the game.
There are several helpful strategies in this article. I also loved Feintzeig’s personal story at the end. You never know what fate has in store!
This story gives me chills.
Casey McIntyre, a New York-based book publisher, passed away from ovarian cancer on November 12th. Before her passing, Casey and her husband Andrew started a campaign to abolish medical debt for those in financial distress.
As of Tuesday morning, more than $770,000 has been raised, which will help erase around $77 million worth of debt. The campaign is still ongoing.
Here’s what Andrew had to say about the campaign:
I do not think Casey could have possibly imagined this response — the global press coverage it's gotten — even as I think she would have thought that it would have gotten some notice.
I was able to talk to the CEO of RIP Medical Debt, Allison Sesso. And one thing that really blew me away is I said to her, like, "Hey, we set this up as a national campaign. Would it be possible to maybe shift it to be more like New York City? Because Casey was such a consummate New Yorker."
And Allison said, "Andrew, this is too much medical debt for New York City for us to buy. We have to do a bigger area."
Stop Overthinking, P. 43
Stop Overthinking, P. 44
I'm such an A-type, I don't think I even recognize anxiety. It's just all folded into the stress I know too well. But, I go back to when I was about to go downhill on the Hurrah Pass (something, I was later told, that really experienced mountain bikers do...and I trained on a recumbent cycle), my mantra was, "Oh, sh!t. Oh, f*ck! Okay." I repeated that the entire way down (which was cliff side after the rain on a narrow road shared with full-sized vans and ATVs coming the opposite way)...and I made it in one piece. The 3-Os will get you through just about anything. It can also make you smile because it's so ridiculous, and it has a pretty good rhythm to it. I'll have to write down your 5, though, Chris. I'd mess up how much to touch or taste. (And write whatever you GD want to. It doesn't have to be rigid. This is your place. You get to do whatever TF you want, whenever you want!) 😘 xo
Really appreciate that the techniques you write about are so actionable. Anxiety can feel...squirrelly, and hard to navigate in a concrete way. This is easily applicable in my own life, right now—love it!