Amazing post, Chris - communication is everything. It's taken me a while to get to reading this post and its preceding one, but gosh, I'm so glad to have found them both this evening. Thank you.
One of the most useful things I started doing when I had my first kid -- which was a really challenging physical process as I had some really severe postpartum pelvic dysfunction -- was make lists. Not just lists of things I had to do, not just a "honey do" list for things I needed my husband's help with, but all the things that any visitor could help with. That way when someone would ask if I needed help -- or just swing by to hang out -- I could skim the list for things I needed done but didn't remember in that specific moment.
That made it a lot easier to be like "hey before you go do you mind carrying this thing upstairs for me, because I can't," or give my doula a task while I was breastfeeding so that I could optimize her time, or give my mom something to do to keep her out of my hair, or ask my father in law to do something that would help him feel useful while his wife held the baby and he otherwise felt awkward.
Amazing post, Chris - communication is everything. It's taken me a while to get to reading this post and its preceding one, but gosh, I'm so glad to have found them both this evening. Thank you.
Aw, thanks Rebecca!
All of this takes a lot of courage and vulnerability (which are separated by less than a hair). You rule, Chris. xo
Thanks Sandra :)
These are all excellent, but I’d never considered the communication strategy bit. 🤯 It makes so much sense, though!
Thank you for sharing your own personal examples here, Chris...it brings your spot-on advice to life.
Thanks Maddie!
One of the most useful things I started doing when I had my first kid -- which was a really challenging physical process as I had some really severe postpartum pelvic dysfunction -- was make lists. Not just lists of things I had to do, not just a "honey do" list for things I needed my husband's help with, but all the things that any visitor could help with. That way when someone would ask if I needed help -- or just swing by to hang out -- I could skim the list for things I needed done but didn't remember in that specific moment.
That made it a lot easier to be like "hey before you go do you mind carrying this thing upstairs for me, because I can't," or give my doula a task while I was breastfeeding so that I could optimize her time, or give my mom something to do to keep her out of my hair, or ask my father in law to do something that would help him feel useful while his wife held the baby and he otherwise felt awkward.
This list is an excellent idea. I might start doing this!