As the title of the thread indicates, I’ve been a little burned out recently. Nothing horrible, but writing has been a chore lately.
There’s no one singular cause; rather, it’s an accumulation of stressors. I’ve got a lot going on in my life.
I’ll be fine, but I’m finding it’s futile to try and force my overtaxed brain to write coherent sentences when it needs to recharge. I’m already feeling better, which is encouraging!
This week, I’d love to hear from you:
If you’ve experienced burnout before — whether at work or in your personal life (or both) — how did you deal with it?
Feel free to share as much detail about the circumstances as you’d like, or just the remedy.
If I get enough responses, I will compile them into a resoure to share with all of you, so you can benefit from the collective wisdom of Hello, Adversity readers.
Hearing your stories will be a huge confidence boost for me. Thank you in advance! 🙏
As I've said many times before, my burnout is akin to spontaneous human combustion. I have EBV so chronic fatigue is something I've known well since I was 19 (that's when it really slammed me). My last burnout came in late 2021. I had gone back to working full full-time with a long commute and I was still trying to do my podcast weekly. I had two episodes in the can, waiting to be edited and I just couldn't. I thought I'd take a little break and get to them later...and still they sit unedited (so embarrassed and feel awful that those folks gave me their time and I failed them). Once I got here, I *swore* that would never happen, so I schedule my breaks, taking April, August and December off. I still make posts for those weeks, just light/fun stuff that takes minimal creative effort (sorry, not sorry)...and people still seem to enjoy them. However, working on a book and a weekly 'stack and a monthly podcast, I'm feeling the "you've bitten off too much, Miller" nagging drag creeping in. So, I'm doing "just us" pods for the remainder of the year. Creative enthusiasm is amazing, except it's sh!t at energy math. So, I'm dumb. I should've finished the book before resurrecting the podcast. But, oh well! The cats are out of their respective bags now, and I'm just going to roll with it while I pace myself. It's funny how writing is fun, until it becomes a job, yeah? Hang in there, Chris. A major part of writing is napping, watching TV and spending time with friends. xo
I can't tell you how many projects I've started, or at least prepared for in some way (usually by buying supplies, which was supposed to "inspire" me to actually do it), and never gotten back to - at home, at work, everywhere... Now that I'm gaining a more realistic view of what's causing that, I'm hoping to get back to some of them someday 😊
Hey! So my recommendations/what works for me are autistic burnout specific, so may not totally resonate, depending on your situation. For me, if I'm really burntout, planning social activities ahead of time isn't really good for me. I get very stressed out/overwhelmed about having things in my schedule. Instead, I either just hang out with my husband, or meet a good friend that I know is okay with me writing them last minute with an easy, low energy plan- like meeting in a park near both of our apartments, for example. Hope this helps!
I have the luxury and privilege of focusing on my health while relying on my spouse for support. That being said: I supplement by writing and doing community and mutual aid work, as well as freelancing. But when I burn out, it means I’ve been ignoring my body’s signals to rest and pushed myself too hard. So, I rest. I keep resting. I ask for help.
One of my favourite things to do-- even when it's uncomfortable-- is just put a bid out for what I need. As some of my favourite disability justice advocates say-- crip mutual aid is different than regular mutual aid. sometimes it's about getting a meme from a friend when you're in pain, etc.
Meditation and mindfulness has been so helpful to me. I’ve had to train my brain that it’s ok to slow down and do nothing.
Too often I find myself saying “writing isn’t physical exertion so it doesn’t count” … when of course I know that especially with chronic illness .., mental exertion counts just as much (and sometimes more).
One of the key things I learned recently that has really helped is that it’s not just enough for me to take a break from writing - I have to take a break from anything that’s taxing to the brain.
That means no new tv shows, movies or books. No challenging mental activities. Usually it’s laying in a quiet room listening to soothing music and/or watching something light that I’ve seen a million times (friends, sex and the city, greys anatomy and Gilmore girls are favourites).
In fact - I can generally predict burnout starting when I realize I’ve been watching something for an hour and have no idea what I’ve seen!
Much easier said than done! I remind myself that any little progress is a big win… because it’s a hard habit to get in to. Even if you just do one minute a day - be proud of yourself for that!
When I fell during a seizure and broke my face & jaw for *the third time* last November, I reached a state of complete immolation, just ashen, dusty burnout. To recover, it helped to go dark across all the channels. Here's a useful app: https://getbrick.app/ for that. And then, when I had the slightest glimmer, I asked for help right on my stack. It was difficult because I'm terrible at asking anyone for anything, really. For an overachieving perfectionist, asking for help leaves you rife with shame, but people stepped up in all kinds of creative, gentle ways. I'll be forever grateful.
Thanks Alisa! I definitely have gone astray asking for help. Which is ironic since I write about it all the time! But it's hard, and I'm remembering how hard it is. Thank you for inspiring me 🙏
I'm going to check out that app. I think I need that!
Chris, thanks for starting this conversation! I hope that you can keep building on what's already helping you. In my experience, sometimes it's better for me to keep doing just a couple things that help rather than trying new things, but you'll have to see what serves you.
When I'm dealing with burnout, I find that I need to get very clear on how to set limits on what I do that isn't absolutely necessary and try to break even minor tasks into many small steps (I love the dopamine boost of crossing something off my list). It also helps me to connect with people in my life who believe in me and let myself lean on them in a way that I struggle to do when life feels like it's going more smoothly. But there's no getting around it: dealing with burnout is a slow, challenging process.
I'm looking forward to seeing what other ideas people share!
Thanks Lori, this is really helpful! I read your comment as I was breaking down a task into smaller parts, so we're on the same page! I like your advice re: doing a couple things that help. I've gotten away from even doing that, and need to get back to basics.
It’s easy to get away from the basics, isn’t it? I get tempted by the shiny objects, when really it’s the dependable basics that can consistently make a difference. Take good care and be gentle with yourself!
H Chris! Can I say I deal with burnout by not believing in it? Half-joking, but I think it is important to think about the words we use. I often find I am stressed or stretched thin because of overcommitting (I'm a social worker and a professor) or just because of typical commitments plus health issues and/or parenting. When I use the word burnout, I define it as the point where the "work" brings neither reasonable reward (or is grossly under-resourced) AND doesn't bring any visible impact or change, or JOY. When your brain is screaming, "I don't want to do this anymore", that's burnout. (Some days, I have diabetes burnout, for sure, but that's 46 years in the making).
On the health side, the ideas and apps out there about "spoon theory" and pacing (developed around CFS/ME and long COVID) are really interesting.
Thanks Maya. I think I reached the "I don't want to do this anymore" stage. Not that I don't want to - I definitely do! - but the joy has been missing recently. I have to get it back...
Whew...burnout... I'm still working to come back from living on the cusp of it for a decade or so, but some of the things I've found that help are:
* doing what I'm able to do in a way that I enjoy, rather than pushing to just get it done, trying to move at someone else's speed, etc
* counting even the smallest step of progress in a task as a win - often gathering a bit more information feels doable to me and goes a long way toward dispelling the huge obstacle I've created out of the task in my mind
* reconnecting with my body through exercise, meditation, grounding or somatic practices, etc
* just speaking kindly to myself, knowing that this is a real thing that happens to me when I haven't listened to what my own reactions, and resisting all of the societal messaging and expectations about what I "should" be doing
Well, your post didn’t quite capture my experience—in fact, it’s been the opposite for me. I’ve faced burnout so many times that I’ve lost count, but my situation stemmed from something much deeper: trauma.
For decades, I was entirely disconnected from my true self. What I believed was “me” was actually an installed version of Self—one that had been shaped, or rather distorted, by the people who forced my true self into a place of toxic shame around the age of 10. This artificial self was a relentless people-pleaser, made compliant through oppression, violence, and threats. It kept going, no matter what.
Giving up was not acceptable. Not being able to do something didn’t exist in my vocabulary—because it was synonymous with “not wanting,” and “not wanting” didn’t exist either. Being ill was only permissible when already “half-dead.” I experienced burnout more often than I can remember, and I kept pushing through it—until I couldn’t anymore.
Since January 2024, I’ve been on sick leave due to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), burnout, a somatoform whole-body pain condition, PTSD, complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression disorders. After nine long months, I’m finally starting to see a shift.
So, what changed? The turning point was when I began taking self-care seriously. I reached for that tiny part of my true self that I could still access and allowed it to speak out loud for the first time: Stop, you are destroying yourself if you go on.
It’s still a long road ahead, but I’m learning to listen to that voice more often now.
Hi Chris, I recently did a Create Every Day challenge by Gauri Yardi. I had to do 5 minutes (or 2 if that felt like too much) on something easy and creative that is not my main project. So NOT writing. Its been wonderfully recharging, and doing some colouring in or doodling or what have you has kept me from ‘vaguescrolling’ so much. I’m much revived in my writing practice ans just feel more alive, more myself. This is on top of getting ‘enough’ sleep—creativity nose dives when I’m more deprived than usual. Good luck.
Hey Chris. Thanks for sharing this, as well as your recent excellent post on slowing down.
At work, I'm learning to say "no" to extra projects, or to ask collaborators and supervisors: "Okay, if I take on this New Project, what Old Project should I drop or delegate?" It's hard to say "no" or to give up control of projects to others. But it's been for the good, ultimately. And if saying "no" creates unreasonable resistance/push back, then I know the universe is saying it's time to move on from this position or employer.
In personal life, I am following a mentor's advice on managing burnout: "move slowly." And a therapist's advice to trust myself and my intuition. I'm making more intentional choices about how to unwind and create time just for "play" - for me that's typically shooting hoops, messing around with watercolor, watching YouTube videos on depth psychology, or just trading silly/stupid memes with friends. Basically, things that don't add to my bank account or professional qualifications.
Also, I do cherish time with friends and family - but now in my late 30s I know myself well enough to know when I need a break via alone time.
I don't usually feel burnt out in my creative life, which of course includes writing here on Substack. What tends to happen instead is that burnout in my professional or personal life spills over into my creative life, showing up most often as a heightened and unreasonable perfectionism.
When I'm stretched/stressed, it feels "un-possible" (as Ralph Wiggum would say) to put out anything less than perfect. When that happens I try to: 1) Catch up on sleep; and 2) Remind myself of that old saw, "Perfect is the enemy of good," - also phrased by John Steinbeck as "Now that you don't have to be great, you can be good."
There are so many great tips here Rian, thank you! I have been TERRIBLE at playing. I think that's one of the big problems - I don't have a good off switch.
I'm experiencing a bit of it right now. We're in our incredibly busy time at work and with what's going on with my health, my home life and the world in general, I'm definitely a bit overwhelmed which is often how my burnout starts. I definitely don't feel like I have the energy to put out any content here right now. That being said, the best way I've learned to deal with it is to give myself grace. Let myself rest. Meditate, watch my favorite shows, reach out to friends (which I sometimes have to force myself to do when I'm overwhelmed because my go-to is to isolate instead), get extra sleep if I can. Reminding myself I don't have to get everything done all at once. Even if I just do one thing, that's progress. Sounds cliche but just taking care of you and listening to what you, your mind and your body need is the most important. It's hard when you write something for public consumption but all of us Substack readers understand burn out too so I think most everyone gets needing to step away sometimes.
As I've said many times before, my burnout is akin to spontaneous human combustion. I have EBV so chronic fatigue is something I've known well since I was 19 (that's when it really slammed me). My last burnout came in late 2021. I had gone back to working full full-time with a long commute and I was still trying to do my podcast weekly. I had two episodes in the can, waiting to be edited and I just couldn't. I thought I'd take a little break and get to them later...and still they sit unedited (so embarrassed and feel awful that those folks gave me their time and I failed them). Once I got here, I *swore* that would never happen, so I schedule my breaks, taking April, August and December off. I still make posts for those weeks, just light/fun stuff that takes minimal creative effort (sorry, not sorry)...and people still seem to enjoy them. However, working on a book and a weekly 'stack and a monthly podcast, I'm feeling the "you've bitten off too much, Miller" nagging drag creeping in. So, I'm doing "just us" pods for the remainder of the year. Creative enthusiasm is amazing, except it's sh!t at energy math. So, I'm dumb. I should've finished the book before resurrecting the podcast. But, oh well! The cats are out of their respective bags now, and I'm just going to roll with it while I pace myself. It's funny how writing is fun, until it becomes a job, yeah? Hang in there, Chris. A major part of writing is napping, watching TV and spending time with friends. xo
Thanks Sandra :). Yes, a big part of writing is NOT writing, which I'm coming to learn. I have to do better at resting.
I can't tell you how many projects I've started, or at least prepared for in some way (usually by buying supplies, which was supposed to "inspire" me to actually do it), and never gotten back to - at home, at work, everywhere... Now that I'm gaining a more realistic view of what's causing that, I'm hoping to get back to some of them someday 😊
Hey! So my recommendations/what works for me are autistic burnout specific, so may not totally resonate, depending on your situation. For me, if I'm really burntout, planning social activities ahead of time isn't really good for me. I get very stressed out/overwhelmed about having things in my schedule. Instead, I either just hang out with my husband, or meet a good friend that I know is okay with me writing them last minute with an easy, low energy plan- like meeting in a park near both of our apartments, for example. Hope this helps!
Thanks Laney! I've found reaching out to friends has always helped me in tough times. You just gave me the motivation to do that!
Great- glad what I said helped!
I have the luxury and privilege of focusing on my health while relying on my spouse for support. That being said: I supplement by writing and doing community and mutual aid work, as well as freelancing. But when I burn out, it means I’ve been ignoring my body’s signals to rest and pushed myself too hard. So, I rest. I keep resting. I ask for help.
Thank you! Asking for help - that's the key! Probably what I need to do more of these days.
One of my favourite things to do-- even when it's uncomfortable-- is just put a bid out for what I need. As some of my favourite disability justice advocates say-- crip mutual aid is different than regular mutual aid. sometimes it's about getting a meme from a friend when you're in pain, etc.
A well-timed meme is the best. A little laugh can mean so much.
Meditation and mindfulness has been so helpful to me. I’ve had to train my brain that it’s ok to slow down and do nothing.
Too often I find myself saying “writing isn’t physical exertion so it doesn’t count” … when of course I know that especially with chronic illness .., mental exertion counts just as much (and sometimes more).
One of the key things I learned recently that has really helped is that it’s not just enough for me to take a break from writing - I have to take a break from anything that’s taxing to the brain.
That means no new tv shows, movies or books. No challenging mental activities. Usually it’s laying in a quiet room listening to soothing music and/or watching something light that I’ve seen a million times (friends, sex and the city, greys anatomy and Gilmore girls are favourites).
In fact - I can generally predict burnout starting when I realize I’ve been watching something for an hour and have no idea what I’ve seen!
Thank you! I had gotten away from meditation. Trying to fix that, but it's easier said than done!
Much easier said than done! I remind myself that any little progress is a big win… because it’s a hard habit to get in to. Even if you just do one minute a day - be proud of yourself for that!
When I fell during a seizure and broke my face & jaw for *the third time* last November, I reached a state of complete immolation, just ashen, dusty burnout. To recover, it helped to go dark across all the channels. Here's a useful app: https://getbrick.app/ for that. And then, when I had the slightest glimmer, I asked for help right on my stack. It was difficult because I'm terrible at asking anyone for anything, really. For an overachieving perfectionist, asking for help leaves you rife with shame, but people stepped up in all kinds of creative, gentle ways. I'll be forever grateful.
Thanks Alisa! I definitely have gone astray asking for help. Which is ironic since I write about it all the time! But it's hard, and I'm remembering how hard it is. Thank you for inspiring me 🙏
I'm going to check out that app. I think I need that!
Chris, thanks for starting this conversation! I hope that you can keep building on what's already helping you. In my experience, sometimes it's better for me to keep doing just a couple things that help rather than trying new things, but you'll have to see what serves you.
When I'm dealing with burnout, I find that I need to get very clear on how to set limits on what I do that isn't absolutely necessary and try to break even minor tasks into many small steps (I love the dopamine boost of crossing something off my list). It also helps me to connect with people in my life who believe in me and let myself lean on them in a way that I struggle to do when life feels like it's going more smoothly. But there's no getting around it: dealing with burnout is a slow, challenging process.
I'm looking forward to seeing what other ideas people share!
Thanks Lori, this is really helpful! I read your comment as I was breaking down a task into smaller parts, so we're on the same page! I like your advice re: doing a couple things that help. I've gotten away from even doing that, and need to get back to basics.
It’s easy to get away from the basics, isn’t it? I get tempted by the shiny objects, when really it’s the dependable basics that can consistently make a difference. Take good care and be gentle with yourself!
H Chris! Can I say I deal with burnout by not believing in it? Half-joking, but I think it is important to think about the words we use. I often find I am stressed or stretched thin because of overcommitting (I'm a social worker and a professor) or just because of typical commitments plus health issues and/or parenting. When I use the word burnout, I define it as the point where the "work" brings neither reasonable reward (or is grossly under-resourced) AND doesn't bring any visible impact or change, or JOY. When your brain is screaming, "I don't want to do this anymore", that's burnout. (Some days, I have diabetes burnout, for sure, but that's 46 years in the making).
On the health side, the ideas and apps out there about "spoon theory" and pacing (developed around CFS/ME and long COVID) are really interesting.
Thanks Maya. I think I reached the "I don't want to do this anymore" stage. Not that I don't want to - I definitely do! - but the joy has been missing recently. I have to get it back...
I'll also check out those ideas you mentioned!
Really like your points on rewards, impact or joy.
Whew...burnout... I'm still working to come back from living on the cusp of it for a decade or so, but some of the things I've found that help are:
* doing what I'm able to do in a way that I enjoy, rather than pushing to just get it done, trying to move at someone else's speed, etc
* counting even the smallest step of progress in a task as a win - often gathering a bit more information feels doable to me and goes a long way toward dispelling the huge obstacle I've created out of the task in my mind
* reconnecting with my body through exercise, meditation, grounding or somatic practices, etc
* just speaking kindly to myself, knowing that this is a real thing that happens to me when I haven't listened to what my own reactions, and resisting all of the societal messaging and expectations about what I "should" be doing
These are all helpful tips. Thank you! Small bits of progress are so key.
Hi Chris,
Well, your post didn’t quite capture my experience—in fact, it’s been the opposite for me. I’ve faced burnout so many times that I’ve lost count, but my situation stemmed from something much deeper: trauma.
For decades, I was entirely disconnected from my true self. What I believed was “me” was actually an installed version of Self—one that had been shaped, or rather distorted, by the people who forced my true self into a place of toxic shame around the age of 10. This artificial self was a relentless people-pleaser, made compliant through oppression, violence, and threats. It kept going, no matter what.
Giving up was not acceptable. Not being able to do something didn’t exist in my vocabulary—because it was synonymous with “not wanting,” and “not wanting” didn’t exist either. Being ill was only permissible when already “half-dead.” I experienced burnout more often than I can remember, and I kept pushing through it—until I couldn’t anymore.
Since January 2024, I’ve been on sick leave due to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), burnout, a somatoform whole-body pain condition, PTSD, complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression disorders. After nine long months, I’m finally starting to see a shift.
So, what changed? The turning point was when I began taking self-care seriously. I reached for that tiny part of my true self that I could still access and allowed it to speak out loud for the first time: Stop, you are destroying yourself if you go on.
It’s still a long road ahead, but I’m learning to listen to that voice more often now.
Wishing you the best,
Jay
Thank you!
Hi Chris, I recently did a Create Every Day challenge by Gauri Yardi. I had to do 5 minutes (or 2 if that felt like too much) on something easy and creative that is not my main project. So NOT writing. Its been wonderfully recharging, and doing some colouring in or doodling or what have you has kept me from ‘vaguescrolling’ so much. I’m much revived in my writing practice ans just feel more alive, more myself. This is on top of getting ‘enough’ sleep—creativity nose dives when I’m more deprived than usual. Good luck.
Thanks Michelle! Yes, I need to get more sleep, for sure. I think that's been part of the problem. I've fallen into bad sleep habits.
Hey Chris. Thanks for sharing this, as well as your recent excellent post on slowing down.
At work, I'm learning to say "no" to extra projects, or to ask collaborators and supervisors: "Okay, if I take on this New Project, what Old Project should I drop or delegate?" It's hard to say "no" or to give up control of projects to others. But it's been for the good, ultimately. And if saying "no" creates unreasonable resistance/push back, then I know the universe is saying it's time to move on from this position or employer.
In personal life, I am following a mentor's advice on managing burnout: "move slowly." And a therapist's advice to trust myself and my intuition. I'm making more intentional choices about how to unwind and create time just for "play" - for me that's typically shooting hoops, messing around with watercolor, watching YouTube videos on depth psychology, or just trading silly/stupid memes with friends. Basically, things that don't add to my bank account or professional qualifications.
Also, I do cherish time with friends and family - but now in my late 30s I know myself well enough to know when I need a break via alone time.
I don't usually feel burnt out in my creative life, which of course includes writing here on Substack. What tends to happen instead is that burnout in my professional or personal life spills over into my creative life, showing up most often as a heightened and unreasonable perfectionism.
When I'm stretched/stressed, it feels "un-possible" (as Ralph Wiggum would say) to put out anything less than perfect. When that happens I try to: 1) Catch up on sleep; and 2) Remind myself of that old saw, "Perfect is the enemy of good," - also phrased by John Steinbeck as "Now that you don't have to be great, you can be good."
Hope you feel less burnt out soon!
There are so many great tips here Rian, thank you! I have been TERRIBLE at playing. I think that's one of the big problems - I don't have a good off switch.
The Switch is a great off switch.
Nintendo, I mean :)
Hugs, Chris
Thank you!
I'm experiencing a bit of it right now. We're in our incredibly busy time at work and with what's going on with my health, my home life and the world in general, I'm definitely a bit overwhelmed which is often how my burnout starts. I definitely don't feel like I have the energy to put out any content here right now. That being said, the best way I've learned to deal with it is to give myself grace. Let myself rest. Meditate, watch my favorite shows, reach out to friends (which I sometimes have to force myself to do when I'm overwhelmed because my go-to is to isolate instead), get extra sleep if I can. Reminding myself I don't have to get everything done all at once. Even if I just do one thing, that's progress. Sounds cliche but just taking care of you and listening to what you, your mind and your body need is the most important. It's hard when you write something for public consumption but all of us Substack readers understand burn out too so I think most everyone gets needing to step away sometimes.