A Wise Investment

Sometimes, we turn down experiences because we fail to see their positive long-term benefit. Enter the Memory Dividend.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

When we’re going through tough times, it is easy to focus solely on the present moment. We have crises and challenges that require our full attention, and we need to deal with them today.

Thinking about the future? We don’t always have that luxury.

Unfortunately, this short-term thinking impacts how we evaluate new experiences that are fun and exciting. If we’re struggling, we are more likely to say no to something than say yes. This doesn’t mean our reasons for saying no aren’t valid (they almost always are), only that it’s hard to perceive the positive long-term benefits of an experience in the heat of the moment.

I fall into this trap all the time when I consider traveling to events and conferences. Many times, although the experience might further my career or help me expand my network, I look at everything in totality and conclude that it isn’t worth the effort. A trip to the supermarket tires me out; a multi-day road trip is exhausting. It simply feels like too much of a risk to put myself out there.

And yet, it’s precisely these trips out of our comfort zone that bring the greatest joy, creating memories that we can savor for the rest of our lives.

The Memory Dividend

Loosely defined, a Memory Dividend¹ is the recurring happiness we get by reliving an experience over and over. Whether it’s going to a Taylor Swift concert, traveling the world, running a marathon on behalf of your favorite charity, or attending a sporting event, these unique experiences can change our lives.

Shared memories pay the highest dividends. For example, every time I chat with my friends from college and grad school, we always have fun reminiscing about our favorite times together.

You don’t get this same kind of Memory Dividend with possessions. When you buy a thing, you feel the most enjoyment at the moment of purchase. Over time, the object wears down, or gets consumed, or you get bored with it. Then it’s on to the next thing. There’s a reason people buy new iPhones every two years.

Yet, despite this key differentiator, we often view experiences as one-time events. We fail to account for the Memory Dividend, which short-changes the reward portion of our risk-reward calculations.

I can’t help but think of all the times that I turned down experiences without considering this long-term payoff. What memories would I be savoring today had I said yes?

I’ll never know.

Fill your life with joyful experiences

Many types of experiences provide satisfying Memory Dividends. Here are some of the best:

• Exciting experiences (i.e. travel, concerts, sporting events, dinner at a fancy restaurant) - This one is straightforward. You go to a ballgame, or check an item off your bucket list, and you can relive the memory for years to come. Your senses are activated in a visceral way that perfectly captures how you felt in the moment.

• Taking a risk - Sure, some risks fail. But many risks are experiences that you can look back on with pride. If you decided to quit your job, or you moved to a new city, or you finally asked out someone you’ve liked for a while — and it went well — that’s an experience you can relive over and over. It can fill you with an inner confidence that gets stronger with time.

• Spending time with family and friends - Any time spent with those we love and care about creates a satisfying Memory Dividend. Sometimes, mundane experiences are the most meaningful. Simply being with them is enough.

  I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently since my uncle passed. We had so many good times together that I will remember for the rest of my life.

My parents and I with Rhys and Jayme Hoskins. Rhys has since signed with the Milwaukee Brewers. I look forward to seeing Rhys and Jamye’s impact on the Milwaukee community!

Tilting the scales

Hard times are a formidable barrier to action. But when we’re able to think beyond the present moment and consider how an experience can enrich us over time, we can make more informed yes/no decisions.

It took me a while to think about experiences through this lens, but it has already paid off.

Last year, I almost turned down a trip to Philadelphia to attend a Phillies fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I was so focused on the logistical headaches (this was the week that a portion of I-95 collapsed) that I failed to consider the positive memories I could make.

At the last moment, we decided to go. I got to meet Rhys Hoskins, who hosted the fundraiser with his wife Jayme, and met several members of the Phillies organization. (In retrospect, I should have handed out copies of my resumé.) I had so much fun that night, and I still think about it to this day.

This is not to say that every experience will be a blast. (Going to a basketball game and watching your team get blown out is miserable, trust me.) And some possessions are great every time you use them, such as my adjustable bed. But on the whole, the Memory Dividend framework can push us to say yes when every bone in our body wants to say no.

Our future selves will appreciate it.

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✍️ Related Articles

Embracing Serendipity - Experiences are serendipity vehicles

23 Things I Learned, Discovered, and Appreciated in 2023 - The Memory Dividend was one of my favorite learnings of 2023

What Really Matters in the End - Our 100-year-old selves would approve of the Memory Dividend

A Life Well Lived - Remembering my Uncle Ronnie

Resilience in Action: Philadelphia - A recap of my Philadelphia trip last June

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1. I first heard of the concept in Sahil Bloom’s “Friday Five” newsletter, which he got from Bill Perkins’ book, Die with Zero.