6 Great Ways for Writers to Deal With The Comparison Trap
6 Great Ways for Writers to Deal With The Comparison Trap
Your voice is worth more than any metric.
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I began my newsletter, Hello, Adversity, in January 2023. In a little less than two years, I’ve achieved almost every goal I set for myself when I started.
I’ve developed a consistent writing habit and improved as a writer. I’ve built friendships with countless readers and made a positive difference in people’s lives. And I’ve grown my newsletter to 2,300 subscribers with dozens of readers paying for my work.
But I have a confession to make…
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When I look at the success of other writers – especially those with thousands more subscribers and the coveted Substack Bestseller orange check mark – I conveniently forget everything I’ve accomplished.
When I’m not careful, comparison sucks the joy out of the writing process. I dwell on what others are doing instead of focusing on what I can control.
This is a miserable place to be!
Thankfully, over the last 20 months, I’ve learned several strategies that have helped me break free of the comparison trap, which I’d like to share with you today.
1. Remember your uniqueness
Every writer has a unique mix of life experience, knowledge, influences, and interests.
If you find yourself intimidated by what other writers are achieving, remember that no one else can replicate what you bring to the table. If other writers tried to write from your perspective, they’d fail miserably, because they’ve never walked in your shoes. They don’t know how you see the world, nor do they understand your purpose.
Stick to what makes you, you. You started writing for a reason – keep this “why” front and center. That’s the source of your power.
2. There’s always more to the story
When we compare ourselves to other writers, we don’t always know the full story of their success. That’s why it’s futile to think, “They’re just better at growth/monetization than me” or “They’re a much better writer than I’ll ever be.”
For example, if someone has thousands of subscribers and a Substack Bestseller check mark, maybe they imported subscribers from another platform. Maybe they write about a topic (making money as a writer, finance/crypto, politics) that naturally attracts a large audience. Or maybe they joined the platform with built-in name recognition from years in the public eye.
Similarly, if you’re intimidated by another writer’s eloquence and skill, it doesn’t mean they write effortlessly. Behind that eloquence was thousands of hours spent painstakingly developing their craft. That impressive piece they wrote that made you question your talents? It took hours of revision and struggle to refine.
The next time you compare yourself to another writer, ask, “Is this truly an apples-to-apples comparison?”
Chances are, it’s not.
3. We see everyone's external achievements, but we don't see their internal struggles
One of the reasons social media is so damaging to our mental health is that we’re constantly bombarded by people’s highlight reels - their happiest moments and most impressive achievements. We then compare their “perfect” lives to our imperfect, messy lives, and we feel like we don’t stack up.
But here’s the truth – everyone’s lives are messy. Other people experience failures and setbacks, too. The problem is, they don’t usually share these less glamorous moments, so we never know they exist.
The same concept applies to the writing life. Writers – especially those posting on Notes – like to share what goes right. Their subscriber milestones. Becoming a Substack bestseller. The book deal. The exciting collaboration with their favorite writer.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with this! I am a huge proponent of celebrating victories. But it’s worth keeping in mind that for every success people share, there’s two failures they aren’t sharing. The post that didn’t land. The unsubscribes. The angry comments. The book that keeps getting rejected by publishers. The emails to their favorite writers that never get answered.
What I love about Substack – and Notes in particular – is that people are starting to share their failures and setbacks more transparently, as a way to normalize the messiness of the writing life.
I think this is great. It helps to show that at the end of the day, we’re all human.
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4. Use comparison as a motivator
Instead of feeling envious, use comparison as a motivator.
Commit to learning from your peers. If the information is publicly available, reverse engineer what led to their growth. Or, subscribe to helpful resources (such as How to Write for a Living) that teach you the skills you need to hone your craft and grow an audience.
You can also reach out to other writers to ask what worked for them. Not everyone will answer (some get more inquiries than they can handle), but many writers are happy to share their story and offer guidance.
You might even make a new friend in the process.
5. If you must compare, compare “current you” to “old you”
The healthiest comparison we can make is between who we are today and who we were when we began our writing journey.
Take a few minutes to think about how much you’ve grown since you started your Substack. Ask yourself:
How have you improved as a writer?
What skills have you learned? (I.e. design, marketing, podcasting, collaborating.)
What friends have you made on your writing journey?
How many people enthusiastically support your writing, either with supportive comments or a paid subscription?
By reflecting honestly on these questions, you’ll see that you’ve made a ton of progress, even if you’ve just been writing for a few months.
“Older you” would be proud of how far you’ve come.
6. Redefine success
Metrics are important, but they aren’t everything. Success isn’t just the number of subscribers you have, how many people pay for your work, or whether you write viral Notes.
Remember your progress in Step 5. There’s so much more to the writing experience than subscriber growth, fame, and monetization.
Even though, yes, I’ve enjoyed watching my metrics grow, the best part of the writing experience is seeing how my writing makes a difference in people’s lives.
I’ve also loved meeting other writers, building a loyal readership, collaborating with like-minded Substacks, and improving my craft.
That is success.
You’re doing fine
Some comparison is healthy, but don’t let it make you miserable. Writers encounter enough adversity – there’s no need to make things worse playing incessant status games.
If you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, pause, take a deep breath, and follow these six strategies. I use them all the time, and they work.
Remember: Someone else’s success is not your failure.
The world needs your voice. And that’s worth more than any metric.
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