How to Stay (Mostly) Sane on Your Job Hunt
9 helpful reminders
Wishing everyone who celebrates a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!
I’m back on the job hunt, and wow — I’d forgotten how unpleasant this is.
Nothing dings your confidence quite like cold, impersonal rejection emails. It’s been challenging, to say the least.
Today, I’d like to share a few reminders that are helping me stay sane through it all.
This isn’t advice on how to land a job or how to make yourself a more competitive applicant. Rather, it’s about how to approach a difficult process with the right perspective.
Please share this with anyone you know who may be struggling to find a job. I hope it helps!
1. You’re not alone. Job hunting is miserable for almost everyone.
For 99% of the population, job hunting is an ordeal from start to finish: endless hours spent polishing your resumé, searching job boards for relevant roles, writing cover letters, manually correcting your job history when the application system butchers the upload of said resumé, and triple-checking every detail before hitting send.
Woof.
And then the waiting begins — either to get called for an interview, or to be told your efforts were for naught. (Assuming, of course, they even dignify you with an autogenerated rejection email, which many companies don’t bother to do.)
If your job search has been a nightmare, you’re in good company. Almost everyone has felt discouraged, frustrated, infuriated, and humiliated by this process.
2. Job applications don’t tell the full story of who you are.
There’s so much about me that a resumé or cover letter can’t convey. The adversity I’ve faced. The health issues I’ve navigated. The evolution of my purpose and what I value most in life.
Applications are a distillation of our professional expertise, but let’s be clear — they’re just snapshots of one part of our lives. A job rejection might feel like an indictment of our worth, but it says nothing about who we are as a person.
I floated an idea on LinkedIn the other day: what if resumés had a “Beyond the Bullet Points” section? A space where applicants could share the challenges they’ve overcome in their career, causes near to their heart, or other character attributes (resourcefulness, kindness, resilience) that add color to an otherwise dreary process.
It wouldn’t replace professional qualifications, but it would humanize the experience for everyone involved. Because at the end of the day, we’re so much more than a few sheets of paper.
I’m going to start doing this.
3. A job rejection doesn’t make you a failure.
Although painful, a “no” from a prospective employer doesn’t nullify everything you’ve accomplished in your career. Nor does it mean you’re a failure, even though it can feel that way.
In his book, Learned Optimism, psychologist Martin Seligman describes how people with a pessimistic explanatory style view setbacks along three dimensions: permanent (“This will last forever”), personal (“It’s all my fault”), and pervasive (“I fail at everything”).
On the job hunt, it’s easy to be a pessimist, but rejection isn’t permanent, it’s not your fault, and it doesn’t mean you fail at everything.
Here’s the truth: You’ve accomplished great things in your career, and you will do so again — even if your path looks different than before. (If you need a reminder of your achievements, review your Personal Highlight Reel.)
Your credentials and achievements don’t vanish because of one job rejection or a stack of them.
Still, I get how hard it is to shake the “failure” mentality. I have to remind myself constantly that a “no” doesn’t define me, even if the sting is intense.
4. You will get rejected from jobs you’re perfect for on paper.
I’ve applied to several jobs where I met all the qualifications, wrote a compelling cover letter, and didn’t get so much as a phone interview. It’s humbling! But it’s not out of the norm.
There’s a deluge of applications for every role, especially in tough job markets like this one. At the end of the day, it’s a numbers game.
5. There are often multiple excellent candidates for one role.
Several times this year, I’ve applied to a job, interviewed, and wasn’t chosen simply because “there was someone else who checked all the boxes.” In other words, my credentials were impressive, and I didn’t do anything wrong — there was simply someone better.
In these moments, I remind myself: multiple people can ace an interview, but only one can be chosen.
This is why it’s important to maintain contact with the hiring manager or HR person. If they liked you, they might still want you to work there should a new role pop up in the future.
Twice in my career, I’ve been rejected for a role only to be hired by the same company a few months later. When another position opened up, they reached out to me because I had stayed on their radar.
6. With job hunting, we hear about the good, not the bad.
I’m all for sharing your professional successes on social media. It’s way more fun to post about landing a new role than about sending out hundreds of applications without a single offer.
But when everyone shares only their successes, it creates a false impression of how easy it is to land a new job. It makes it seem like everyone else is winning, and we’re the only ones losing.
Yet underlying many of these happy announcements are tales of rejection, self-doubt, and struggle. We rarely hear this part of the story.
No one wants to say, “I got a new job!” followed by “It took me 172 applications, 64 interviews, and 18 final interviews over 11 months to reach this point.”
The more people who share the full picture, the better. It makes job seekers like me feel less alone.
7. Job hunting requires adaptability.
It’s easy to be laser-focused on one type of job, one title, or one compensation range. But the perfect job rarely falls into our laps.
Sometimes, job hunting requires widening the aperture to consider new industries or roles. It might even mean taking a temporary step back in title or compensation. Or it could mean learning new skills — like AI — to stay competitive in a rapidly changing job market. (And honestly, even if you’re not job hunting, learning AI is important anyway.)
Have a Plan A, for sure. But it’s okay to pivot to Plan B. Accepting a role that’s not quite perfect doesn’t mean you failed at your job hunt, or that you’re automatically settling.
Besides, your job is not the source of your self-worth. It never was.
8. Job hunting requires a support system.
Don’t be afraid to lean on others during this difficult time.
Find someone else who is job hunting and have periodic check-ins with them. You can boost each other’s spirits, practice interview questions, or discuss trends you’re seeing in the job market.
Also, lean on your network. If you’re comfortable, post on LinkedIn to let people know about your situation (like I did here). Or better yet, let your newsletter readers know. 😀
But whatever you do, at minimum, tell those you trust — friends, family, former coworkers, etc. — about your situation. They can keep an eye out for roles at their companies or connect you to someone in HR. They might even introduce you to someone they know for an informational interview.
Every job I’ve had in my career has come from a personal connection. It’s so much easier than applying somewhere without knowing anyone at the company.
And yet…
It’s tempting to go it alone. I get it. You may feel ashamed that you’re jobless, or that, despite your advanced degrees, your phone remains silent.
But those who care about you want to help. And they know — if the roles were reversed, you’d do the same for them.
9. Someday, all of this will make sense.
Steve Jobs is famous for saying, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.”
In 2017, I was thrilled to get a job as a product manager at a medical diagnostics company. Three months later, I burned out and had to quit. It was the most distraught I’ve ever been in my career.
In the aftermath, I was terrified I’d never find another job. The longer I remained unemployed, the more convinced I became that I had made a terrible mistake.
Then, in early 2018, I was invited to attend the Muscular Dystrophy Association’s annual conference as a patient blogger. Had I still been working, I would have had to turn it down, but since I was free, I said yes.
At the conference, I met someone who would introduce me to my future boss. A few weeks later, I had a new job, a new path, and a rejuvenated purpose.
Although not every detour leads somewhere better, serendipity happens more often than we think, especially when we stay open to new paths.
You may not be able to see the full picture today, but with patience and perspective, your struggle might someday make sense.
Keep going.
Incredible insight, Chris! So good. Esp loved this line:
"What if resumés had a “Beyond the Bullet Points” section?" which is such a cool idea.
Thoughtful as always!
Great post as always Chris. Hope you had a great thanksgiving 😊