Hello, Adversity Weekly Roundup #28 - August 12, 2023

Beat sheets, paying off our emotional debt, and overcoming lifequakes

Photo credit: Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash

Happy Saturday everyone!

Welcome to the 28th edition of the Hello, Adversity Weekly Roundup.

The last week and a half has been a whirlwind for me. I expected things to slow down after my last day of work, but instead, I am busier than ever. On one hand, it’s great—I am energized and enjoy devoting my full attention to Hello, Adversity. On the other hand, I know I need to slow down.

I have been trying to get better about going outside, leaning back in my chair, and closing my eyes. I don’t usually fall asleep, but I enjoy listening to the sounds of nature. It is enough to quiet my mind, if only for a little while. It’s amazing what a half hour of peace can do.

I hope you find a few minutes to rest and recharge in the week ahead!

Without further ado, here are this week’s links:

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1. How to write a beat sheet to tame unruly work

As a writer, there is nothing more stressful than finishing a piece, rereading it, and realizing that something’s off. Or worse, that it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Maybe the piece is too long. Maybe the character development is weak. Maybe the main takeaway is unclear. Whatever the reason, when we can’t effectively translate what we want to say into words, it’s infuriating.

Courtney Maum introduces a simple technique called the “beat sheet” to help identify issues with our writing before they spiral out of control. A beat sheet, as Maum describes it, is “a Hollywood tool that allows a screenwriter or outside reader to experience the most important plot points of a film project without reading an entire script.” The technique involves summarizing sections of our work to track everything from the flow of an argument to the story arc, depending on the genre.

You don’t have to be a screenwriter to benefit from beat sheets. For example, if you are giving a talk or telling a story, a beat sheet can provide a high-level overview of what you are trying to convey, or where you might need to go back and tighten things up.

I am in the middle of writing my Wednesday post and have already put this technique to use. I was able to cut out several paragraphs that didn’t advance the piece in any meaningful way, trimming hundreds of words in the process.

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2. How to Pay Off Your Emotional Debt

This was an insightful article by Jonny Miller about the concept of “emotional debt”. When we experience a traumatic event or a stressful experience, we often repress our emotions so we can confront them at a later date. The problem is, many times we never get around to fully reckoning with these emotions. They simmer below the surface until they boil over. This can wreak havoc on our physical and emotional well-being.

As the author admits, the science behind the idea is still contested, but the general framework is useful in observing how we deal with our most stressful moments.

A delayed emotional response has its advantages—it allows us to function in the heat of the moment. Once out of harm’s way, we can confront what has happened. There is nothing quite as cathartic as an emotional release, whether it’s a good cry or screaming into the void. But if we never get around to the release part—what Miller calls “completing the mobilization response”—the consequences can accumulate. We either become hyper-anxious, or worse, shut down altogether.

As I read about the concept, I thought back to the early days of my disease when I struggled to deal with the physical changes happening in my life. For many years, I repressed the emotions brought on by these changes until I ended up in a bad place. It is clear now that I had accumulated significant emotional debt. It wasn’t until I confronted my feelings in an honest way that I was able to find acceptance. Even though I’m not the touchy-feely type, I wasn’t able to move on until I addressed the pain.

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3. From lifequake to lemonade

This is another excellent piece by Sue Deagle of The Luminist about a topic that hits close to home. In her post, Deagle discusses the concept of “lifequakes”, a term used by Bruce Feiler in his book, Life is in the Transitions.

Deagle writes:

Feiler interviewed 225 Americans over three years, coming to the conclusion that the average American experiences around 36 disruptive changes in their lifetime. One every 12 to 18 months. Some of these “disruptors” are of our own choosing. Switching jobs, moving, getting married, having a baby. Many are not. And some — about three to five in every human life — are catastrophic, leveling our reality to the metaphorical ground zero. These Feiler calls “lifequakes”. They are the experiences that create the “before’s” and “after’s” we use as chapter markers in our lives. Before Covid. After Mike.

No life is without its traumatic moments; we all experience lifequakes. For Deagle, it was the passing of her husband, Mike. For me, it was the day I was told by a doctor that I should expect to lose all of my strength within ten years. Moments of testing may challenge us, but they don’t have to define the rest of our lives. How we respond is key.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that we should brush aside our difficulties, keep a stiff upper lip, etc. A positive attitude only gets us so far. (We don’t want to rack up emotional debt!) Rather, as Deagle points out, a lifequake, although incredibly difficult, presents an opportunity for growth. It may end up being the catalyst we need to try new things, take risks, and evolve. It may end up showing us how strong we truly are.

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If you have a story you’d like me to include in a future newsletter, please email me at helloadversity@substack.com or leave a comment below.

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