Hello, Adversity Weekly Roundup #03 - Feb. 18, 2023
Hello, Adversity Weekly Roundup #03 - Feb. 18, 2023
The impact of social media, celebrating wins and Kevin Costner
Hi everyone!
Welcome to the third edition of the Hello, Adversity Weekly Roundup. I hope you all had a great week.
Before we get started, I just wanted to say that I appreciate all the kind messages about Carly’s article. It wasn’t the easiest thing to write, but it became a lot easier once I shifted focus to the happier memories of our time together. It also helped to have a subject - Carly - who was easy to write about and would be the star of any show!
Here is this week’s links roundup:
This article recaps testimony given on Capitol Hill about the impact of social media on the mental health of teens. Although many of the takeaways don’t come as a surprise, the magnitude of the impact is both shocking and sad.
I often think about how my childhood might have turned out if all of these platforms were available to me growing up. I struggled to fit in and make friends as it was.
Even as an adult, I still have to remind myself not to compare myself to others. (Point #9 in the article.) People often post only the best moments in their lives. As a result, we think everyone else has it better than we do, especially when we are so intimately aware of our flaws and shortcomings.
This quote caught my attention:
“…social media offers the 'empty calories of social interaction,' that appear to help satiate our biological and psychological needs, but do not contain any of the healthy ingredients necessary to reap benefits."
Social media isn’t all bad, and has its uses, but it does not substitute for genuine person-to-person interaction. Next time you like someone’s post, take a moment to think about the last time you talked to them. Don’t be afraid to text or give them a call.
Recently read: The Score Takes Care of Itself, by Bill Walsh
In the final years of his life, legendary San Francisco 49ers head coach Bill Walsh gave a series of interviews to author Steve Jamison on the topic of leadership. Walsh inherited the 49ers franchise in 1979 when it was the laughingstock of the National Football League. Three Super Bowls later, no one was laughing. The book is a master-class on leadership and getting a team aligned towards a common goal.
Many topics were discussed in the book but the one that stays with me is Walsh’s admonition to celebrate our victories. In other words, when we hold ourselves to such a high standard, either in sports or sales or any other type of competition, we don’t enjoy when we win because we merely did what we were supposed to do. Winning becomes an all-consuming obsession, but once we achieve victory, there is no joy, only relief.
When we do this, Walsh says we give ourselves “zero points for winning”. We even nitpick the areas where we should have won by more or have done better. Yet, when we lose, we tear ourselves to pieces, lose sleep, and think we are a failure.
This was ultimately Walsh’s undoing. He became so successful that anything short of a Super Bowl was considered a disappointment. The stress of a football season became a no-win scenario: either he wins and does what was expected of him, or he loses and is chewed out by owners and fans. It led Walsh to an early retirement.
Winning doesn’t mean that we have to go crazy and party for weeks on end, but don’t be afraid to take a step back and appreciate the accomplishment. Winning is never a given.
Would I recommend this book? A resounding yes if you are a football fan, but if you hate football, it will be a tough read given that everything he talks about is through the lens of his time as a coach.
Speaking of celebrating victories, Kevin Costner won Best Television Actor in a Drama Series at this year’s Golden Globes for his role as John Dutton in Yellowstone. Unfortunately, he was unable to make the ceremony due to flooding in California.
Thankfully, Costner received his Golden Globe in the mail and recorded an acceptance speech that he posted to social media. I was pleasantly surprised to see him still excited to receive an award, given how many he’s won in his career. You can tell he doesn’t take winning for granted.
This article reviews On Writing and Failure, a pamphlet by Canadian writer Stephen Marche. As the title of the pamphlet and the article make clear, writing and failure are intertwined. Writing is solitary. You pour your heart out onto the page and then, unless you self-publish, it is likely going to be rejected by someone. According to Marche:
"English has provided a precise term of art to describe the writerly condition: Submission. Writers live in a state of submission."
Failure is something we all experience. For example Boston College, where I got my MBA, rejected me for undergrad ten years prior. If someone tells you they’ve never failed or been rejected, they are lying.
An oldie but a goodie: Jim Valvano's 1993 ESPY Speech
I was going to reference Jim Valvano’s famous ESPYs speech to make a point about another article I had read. But then I ended up watching the whole video and you know what? This speech is better. Here’s one of my favorite pieces of advice:
And when people say to me, “How do you get through life?” Each day’s the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. If we do this every day of our life, you’re going to … What a wonderful … Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think, you should spend some time in thought. And number three is you should have your emotions moved to tears. Could be happiness or joy, but think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.
Have a great next seven days, all!
If you have any feedback on today’s email or want to send me a story to include in the future, please email me at HelloAdversity@substack.com or drop a comment below.